Mum…this is your life

Your Mum is the most special person who will ever be in your life. Unconditional love, a bond that will never be broken. Mums know when something is wrong. They have an instinctive sense of awareness for the well being of the child they carried for well in excess of 30 weeks, before introducing them into the world whilst experiencing a pain most of us men would never understand.

I lost mine on April 3rd 2012, I felt she was the best Mum, we do don’t we? Don’t log off, this is not a sad blog, far from it!

It’s blog that is not meant to be sad, it’s designed and written from my heart to inspire those who are lucky enough to still have one. My Mum, Peggy to everyone, Mum to me, her only son, blessed with two wonderful older sisters, would love it that I am sharing this idea with you. She’s looking down on me, protecting me, even at 52, I have no problem with stating my age, I am comfortable with it. No Just for Men here.

As her health deteriorated, (she had a peaceful end, no pain) I wanted to give her a special memory, a memory she could go asleep thinking about. Hopefully her final sleep, the peaceful one she’s now enjoying, is full of dreams with beds of brightly coloured daffodils and trickling streams, full of fluffy marshmallow clouds and lovely people: people with a wonderful sense of humour. My mum was my friend as well you see, we used to go out together, she’d have an Irish Coffee and towards the end of her life, I encouraged her to say funny things in public. She loved it, how she loved it. A showgirl…a blonde bombshell in every sense! I have pictures to prove it.

In Kendal, Cumbria, ( she moved with Dad there in 1995 from Kirkby, Liverpool) at the big Morrisons store, I’d regularly get her to try and say funny things to the person on the checkout, in her broadest Scottie Road accent “hey, girl, got any bargains cos we are skint” for example (you had to be there)

She never got to the word skint, as she was laughing so much, tears of joy steaming down. I was curled up like a letter ‘S’ in fits. It wasn’t meant to be disrespectful to the checkout person, it was our fun.

The Special memory?

One day, on one of my trips up there, (to The Lakes) I told her, on a Sunday, to get ready for a surprise, I would be around at 9am for a drive, I told her look her best (as a former Vernons Girl, that wasn’t hard) and to skip her water tablets for the day and to expect a big day out.

We went to Liverpool. I got my first ever blow out, luckily going only 60 on inside lane, as we worked our way through Frank Sinatra’s back catalogue.

I took her to the street she was born, camera in hand, just off Great Homer Street, I arranged for her brother (Teddy) to come over from Heswall, I took lots of photos. The stories came out, boy did they come out. I’m so glad Dad doesn’t do computers.

Then we whizzed up to The Grafton, where she originally met Dad all those years ago, more photos, flowers from the garage opposite, (yeah I know, cheapskate) then off to Kensington, around the corner, to where she lived with Dad for a while in his Aunties.

More photos, more memories.

A trip to Kirkby beckoned, and photos outside the two houses we lived in, we knocked on some neighbours houses, that in itself is a book, funny: how we laughed! More photos.

Then over to the Kingfisher pub, a gangsters paradise they call it, we don’t, it’s part of our life. Camera out, smiles.

Back up the M6. ‘Hometime Mum ?’ She told me off for the first time that day, reminding me Liverpool would always be her home.

Next day, Monday (mum slept like Alice in Wonderland on Sunday) I took a few photos of Windermere, whacked the film in the chemist and started writing.

I bought a big RED empty book (shock horror, Mum and I the only 2 blues in our family) filled it full of the photos, together with captions and lovely memories, anecdotes, quotes from friends, and eventually gave it to her later in the week.

For the next year, until her final sleep came calling, she kept it by her chair in their little flat, and (so Dad tells me) she looked at it every day. She loved it. How she loved it.

This blog is half self indulgent, and hopefully half inspirational, I apologise for the first bit, but is meant as a blog to trigger a loving thought, make your Mum happy, the cost is a tank of juice and a book oh…and the most precious thing of all, your time. Thank you for giving it to me, it’s free.

Running with the Firm

You can beat an egg but you cannot beat a great football book.

As the Winter looms large in the wing mirrors, there is a veritable feast of publications already on the shelves, Harry’s musings about greasing the palms of a public house pot collector posing as jockey in return  for racing information,  Sr’Alex lifting the lid on a fascinating career in management, the ‘not so special one’ parading his beautiful feathers in his own offering and even the ‘Secret Footballer’ regaling stories from the dressing room.

 

Give me a book with a difference anytime . Running with the Firm, by James Bannon, fits the bill perfectly.

Bannon, was a former undercover policeman who covertly infiltrated the ranks of Millwall’s notorious hooligan element. Together with three colleagues, he invested two highly emotional years of his life in an effort to integrate the ‘firm’, a large contingent of truculent, testosterone  fuelled males in the South London district of Bermondsey.

At times it reads like a novel, with the best sections, for me, being the relationship between Bannon, (known as Jim, the decorator,for clandestine reasons) Paul a hard as nails landlord of a pub; ‘The Puffin’, he also happens to be the chief suspect/target), Tina, Paul’s wife and Tina’s vivacious sister Stephanie.

Those that read this book that and are not enchanted by ‘Steph’ surely have serious manhood issues, she takes a liking to Jim, both physically and mentally, she is, to an extent infatuated by his mystery. He, being the professional he is, keeps her at arm’s length, after all he intends to be sending her brother-in-law to prison once he has gathered enough evidence to put him there.

Bannon paints a wonderful picture of her, despite not actually describing her in detail , if that makes sense. Now that is clever, very clever.

What is also clever is the detailed way in which football hooligans go to great lengths to achieve their goal. basically smashing up rival firms, whether it be West Hams ICF, the ‘Leeds Service’ crew, the Zulus from St Andrew’s, the Boro’s finest, the United ‘Red ‘Army’, Everton’s ‘Snorty Forty’ and all the others.

These boys at Millwall (and scores of other clubs) made (and still make) regular sortie’s, incognito, to opposition towns and grounds with one thing on their mind.

The FIU (Football Intelligence Unit) is the body that battles to keep them in check. Bannon took his own life in his hands, as he explains in the book, his home life suffered, he never slept, his drinking took him to the brink, He fell in love with Steph, who wouldn’t ?

An extremely well written book, that left me wanting more, I’m now sourcing the film ‘ID’,  based on the story. It is informative, unnervingly accurate, pulsating and at the same time thought provoking.

Furthermore, Bannon is now taking his story to the stage and tickets are shifting faster than  late drinks in ‘The Puffin’ apparently , I’m heading for the Soho one in February, minus my colours.

Follow me @hanleyontheball

The Nowhere Men

Football books are a bit like chicken takeaway shops, so many, so much choice, so much disappointment. Not this one.

There is a saying that one’s mind is like a gymnasium, well this one has had a thorough workout,  absorbing a morass of hugely relevant information helping to paint a picture of a dying breed : the football ;scout, The Nowhere Men.

Michael Calvin is hugely unlikely to be besieged by  lethological  moments ; his wordsmithery flows like a trickling stream , his empathy towards the subject deeply sincere and his knowledge of the game of football takes us on a journey no book of this kind has taken us on before.

Has there been a book of this kind before ?

The magic eye they call it. The football scouts magic eye. Undercover policemen have it, artists have it, diamond cutters have it.

Calvin latest offering sings the praises, almost choirlike, for men like John Griffin, a fully paid up member of the flat cap brigade, now in his 70s, but a man, a hugely likeable man by the sounds of it, who has talent spotting firmly embedded in his DNA. A man who pulls up trees (some on a frosty January morning miles from home, if it meant he had to see a player) in search of the next Ian Wright, the next Stuart Pearce or even Peter Beardsley, all three products of non league football.

Griffin is man the like of which we may never see again. The analysts have taken over. The academics who tell us that if a 15 year old kid produces good enough stats with his pass completion rate, his shot accuracy and his defensive heading ability he will make the grade. Ok so it’s not as cut and dried as that, but that ‘magic eye’ is owned outright by the John Griffins , the Terry Burtons and Dean Austins of this world.

The gift of being able to spot ‘a player’ at an early age; how he carries himself, how does he react on a freezing cold morning ;  what he’s like when he is faced with a bruising centre half  who may give you a ‘sly one’ off the ball and how he treats the ground staff.

The book simply gets better and better as you work your way through anecdotal heaven, like the scouts who ‘followed’ Alexis Sanchez into his then small Italian town, ‘sat off’ by a coffee shop and then posed as autograph hunters to gauge reaction. What are these players like off the field ? Will the club have trouble with them ?

Jack Wilshere, Stan Collymore, Raheem Sterling ( great story), Joe Hart, they are all in here, the book is full of little nuggets.

The football scout is a dying breed, The Nowhere Men, eclipsed by technology. The analyst’s may reach John Griffins age, but I doubt they’ll have his golden memories,

Take a flat cap off to Michael Calvin………..its a winner !

Call of Duty at Grassroots level

“In my day” is an overused term in this world. Every day should be your day, Seizing opportunities, making things happen, saying yes more, creating memories, treading different paths. There is a myriad clichés freely available, a veritable feast of colourful punchy phrases surrounding us in a rainbow filled world of empty promises .

Talking the talk is one thing…….walking the walk another.

We are all guilty of encouraging our children to encapsulate themselves in the cocoon like environment of the bedroom with the play stations, the latest hi tech gadgets, the smart phones and the supersized energy drinks sitting comfortably besides  the latest leaflets offering 2 thin crust pepperoni pizzas for the price of one, and chicken nuggets free when you spend over a fiver.

The only X boxes I knew growing up were the Vernons Pools coupons draw sections my Dad used to fill in, he couldn’t put them on with Littlewoods, as half the family earned their own ‘thin crust’ down Walton Hall Avenue, the HQ of Moores empire.It was against company rules, funny how so many John Smiths and Billy Jones won though ?

We now have a wonderful opportunity to help our own children, our grandchildren and generations beyond to embrace the experiences we had. The ‘Grassroots Football Campaign” is one of the best initiatives I’ve seen for years.

The benefits to children from a health and happiness perspective are immeasurable. Fresh air, as opposed to tiny confined bedrooms, jam packed with the heat of machines, the smells of Pringles and Chicken Feasts. Kids supinely set for the day, ordering their food, killing their enemies with the tap of a thumb. But it shouldn’t be like that, Making friends, friends for life, learning social skills a computer generated gunman lurking on a corner of an LA street won’t teach you. In fact only yesterday, a judge in Liverpool whilst summing up in the case of a 15 year old who held up a bank with a plastic gun (because he wanted money like other people knew) said ” It’s an almost surreal case of a young man acting like a real-life action video game”

This is a Call of Duty !

It’s simple. Free football for kids up and down the land, sun rain or shine. Playing sports at an early age is a key component of character building. In 30 years time, regaling stories to younger loved ones about how you made the top 25 in the county on ‘Halo 3’  is not really going to gain their respect is it ?
This is no party pooping campaign against video games, which bring a lot of folk enjoyment, it’s all about balance and conditioning youngsters about the wonderful benefits of a life outside. Sadly for some, thanks to gun crime and a lack of sporting opportunities, a life ‘inside’ beckons

The crux of the problem is this,local councils are closing pitches by the day, is it because the council executives are indeed getting younger and maybe themselves quite ‘tasty’ on a Wii, having never kicked a ball or tipped one round the posts, just a thought ! Far more likely though is it’s because  their hands are tied by government legislation, budgetary restrictions and frankly a lack of understanding. It’s all very well watching elaborate stage managed exercise & keepy uppy routines involving prime ministers, but real action is required urgently. Their call of duty.

Football Clubs

I remember as a schoolboy at a huge comprehensive on Merseyside, St.Kevin’s, where 1500 testosterone filled teenagers ambled through the gates at 8.55 each morning, the then manager of Everton, Billy Bingham, brought his entire first team squad to spend the ‘whole day’ with us. An innovative charm offensive said some, they visited a lot of schools in a few weeks. I thought it was incredible, the players talked with us, they ate with us and at the end school day they played our first eleven in front of a huge crowd. As a 13 year old my breath was taken away.I mean Gary Jones, the Everton winger was pinching chips off my pals plate and dipping them in his red sauce. It uplifted the whole environment, kids all over Kirkby were asking for ketchup in the chippys.

Do any mainstream football clubs do that these days ? (visit schools) I am sure lots of them have thought about it.If not, why not ? The Call of Duty beckons for everyone, talking the talk or walking the walk.Making things happen, creating memories, changing the mindset, ensuring the England squads in future Summer or even Winter World Cups have a nucleus of natural talent, players who can keep possession, show the wonderful first touch of the foreigners and give us something to be proud of. Without FREE FOOTBALL for kids, what chance have we got ?

Follow me on twitter @hanleyontheball

More of Newmarkets bright lights by request….Sir Henry Cecil & the salmon

Does anybody actually physically pinch themself when a surreal moment occurs ?

The origin of the term is clouded in a dream enveloped mystery, but we have all been there haven’t we ? Meeting your hero and having a photo taken ? Winning a big competition prize, seeing a friend you thought you would never see ever again maybe or landing in a sun blessed exotic location ? Yes, we have all been there.

Being offered a job in Newmarket in 1994 almost qualified. Trepidition, excitement, taking a massive step, a thinkers or doers conundrum to solve. Only one outcome. As they say, ” treading a different path  always leads you down a different road “, some folk like the Cul De Sac life, the safe life, if that secures happiness for them, then why not ?

Newmarkets bright lights beckoned. Colourful stories by the horse box load ensued over a ten year period, wonderful, loving, caring friends and a myriad characters few small towns could match. Jock Mackie, who locals would have known, famous for many things, from making toffee apples at Her Majesty’s Pleasure to reportedly thrusting cakes into a well known racing presenters face on live TV.

The first bookmaker I had contact with was not amused after Dahyah landed a behemoth of a plunge at Ascot in a very competitive handicap, 10/1 by the time Larry in the Clock Tower Cafe was cracking his first eggs and 2/1 when he was popping the Maris Pipers in the microwave for Lunch. My very modest investment hardly dented his weekend’s shopping bill, but the ‘faces’ created a mighty hole in his pension pot. He refused to pay for a couple of days, pride and wallet hurt.

Other characters made (and make this town) what it is, I don’t live there anymore, but even the specialist tradesmen at Guantanamo Bay wouldn’t get me to slate it. A special place, a very special place with special people. Memories there fill my every thought, the Classic winning trainer who gave me a lift (as in my other post), the great pal (one of the towns best judges ) who’s superstition was nuttier than a king size Snickers bar : when he had a big bet (usually in the Laddies Clock Tower branch) he would fold his slip up and put it under his right foot (I kid you not) whilst watching his race. Incredible.

I could fill a book with the the colourful stories. Unfortunately, only because of where I come from (Liverpool) it can be difficult to be taken seriously when it comes to racing knowledge, hardly a day goes by that I’m not asked what is the best way to remove a hub cap from a car ? Or, more rib tickling examples include the old wallet gags, empty houses or a calm down calm down moment. I even had a virtual horse named after me, Hanley’s Hubcaps by one joker, who I doubt would crack the gags on a night out in Concert Square. Character Building. Intriguingly, my best pal actually placed a little 50p on it one day in a Walton Vale shop and sent me the slip, which I have framed as a motivational tool.

You have to be shrewder, I often get tested by masters of mirth and merriment on my racing knowledge, one such card asked me what was second to Shergar , when I told him it was Red Alligator, his face was a picture, he wouldn’t catch me out. After one or two other trivia testers I then asked him what a Monorchid was, to explain the dynamics of Acey Ducey and to explain the technicalities of Stringhalt in a thoroughbred. His boat race was a picture, the lounge, landing and kitchen lights were all brightly lit but the occupier was out of the house for a while.

That wasn’t a ‘pinch myself’ moment. This was.

In 1995, a good friend of mine was going through a fairly unpleasant seperation,made complex by contested ownership of a listed class black type filly. She also happened to be very closely connected to the legendary, languid and insouciant Sir Henry Cecil. The best trainer that ever lived. I never met the great man, yes I saw him very regularly on his trusted steed on the heath, or more frequently on Natalie’s Poteen (former Luca inmate) but this moment will forever a comfortable place in my memory bank.

My platonic friend had invited me for dinner and to ask my advice and had decided to cook a Scottish Salmon, purchased from Waitrose (which was then behind The Rutland) for us. Accomplished with a choppping board she was, but she mentioned that she had asked the great man for the best way to cook it. Sir Henry would know she fathomed, a sound rationale based on his tartan roots (Grandfather owning Crathes Castle in Aberdeen etc etc). Skin side down in good quality butter was his educated recommendation.

He had even suggested to my avancular friend that a chilled Louis Jadot  Burgundy would be a marriage akin to Oh So Sharp and Cauthen. She began, seasoned the impressive jewel of the sea and popped in the pan. Then THE MOMENT, the phone rang. It was him !!!!

Sir Henry, seeing how things were. I nearly choked on my Gallic Glug. He was checking that the temperature of the pan was right and it was skin side down. I kid you not, the defining denouement of the evening. A few more glasses, a summer fruit cheesecake and a taxi home to Cheveley. I never slept a wink. I had visions of the svelte figure of Henry Richard Amherst manoevring his soldiers in his study whilst dishing out Albert Roux stylee culinary advice to his friend who was cooking for the Mickey Mouse Newmarket freshman.

The next day, I told my MD ( a man I owe a lot to ) and he loved it.

I remember the day a lovely filly of Helena Springfield won a nice race at Haydock, it was the day before Princess Diana’s passing and also the wedding of my best friend in the whole worlds wedding in Kirkby, Liverpool. One So Wonderful; was the filly, and I knew how well she had been working (yes, the bloke who puts the slips under his foot, it was him) so I passed on what I knew to all the guests.

The Stanleys bookmakers at The Kingfisher basically got emptied out as she sauntered home, almsot every guest was on. They were sending bottles of Becks over to me like Scud Missiles to me at the reception. I was Best Man, the speech was more colourful than a Howard Spooner racing silk. Memories.

Memories are created by doing things that are different, taking risks, being brave and being yourself, yes you may have a dialect that attracts criticism, but I suppose it’s better to be talked about than not. When I am old and grey, oh hang on that’s now, I can contentedly look out the window and visualise wonderful recollections of times gone by. I’m still up for creating memories, I say yes to most things, why not ?

 

 

Jamie Carragher…..A right & fitting tribute

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When Antony Gormley found the inspiration for his ‘Men of Iron’ project, 100 life size statues, each weighing 600 kilograms, to place at Crosby Beach on Merseyside, I doubt he figured that they would later be adorned with a myriad garments.

From Liverpool ladies lingerie to old wet coats, and from comedy hats to budgie smuggling speedos commonly sited on the German section of Mallorcan beaches. But easily the most common items of attire are Everton and Liverpool scarves (and others).

If Gormley had hatched his master plan in 1987, a certain Jamie Carragher, as a 10 year old, may well have jumped the bus down from his Marsh Lane home with his Dad and popped one his beloved Everton scarves on one of the imposing metal masterpieces.

Fate intervened and Jamie changed his colours soon afterwards. Liverpool Football Club came knocking. Now 737 games later, this hugely likeable one club family man prepares to put a professional football kit on for the last time in public. He never vacillated, he stayed true to Liverpool.

As an Everton fan, I never wanted Carragher to do well, of course I didn’t, but I was always impressed with the lion-hearted approach he took into games. His passion, his devotion to his team and club, his qualities as a footballer, his expert reading of the game, his willingness to put his body on the line for his colleagues.

Jamie Carragher never had a proclivity to throw himself about on the floor when he was crunched by a Viera, a Keane, a Batty or a Shearer. He didn’t sprint up to referees Busquets style waving imaginary cards. Yes, he threw a coin back into a crowd once and was in the papers for high jinks that hurt nobody a few years back, he didn’t put the local butchers unused products in players lockers or indeed pull a sickly stunt that would embarrass even a Brighton player, but he was a warrior.

Apart from maybe Peter Beardsley, is there another player as knowledgeable as Jamie ? You would want him in your quiz team never mind your football team.

I’ve never met Jamie Carragher, although we do have an old friend in common. Eric was (and probably still is ) a good pal of his, I went to college with Eric, the last time I saw him was just after he was held up at Knifepoint whilst driving his black cab out in Netherley.He played in the same Merton FC (Bootle) Pub team as Jamie. I can just imaging the merciless stick Jamie got from him when ‘changing the colour’.

I’m sure all genuine Everton (and other teams) fans would like to wish Jamie Carragher well for the future. I do, it will not mean a lot to him, but I feel his type of player is a dying breed. He deserves a happy retirement from the game, and is probably pencilled in for lessons with a well-known elocutionist in Southport (to aid his Sky Role) but it doesn’t matter, his language will always be understood by football fans throughout the land.

You cannot buy passion.

Good luck Jamie

Severe weather warning

Hanleyontheball

A highways agency warning said anyone travelling in severe icy conditions should take a decent sized shovel, blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, including a scarf, thick warm hat, thick warm gloves, A 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, tow rope, knife, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads. I must have  looked a right prat on the bus this morning with all that gear on. I could hardly tweet with the gloves

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Severe Weather warning

A highways agency warning said anyone travelling in severe icy conditions should take a decent sized shovel, blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, including a scarf, thick warm hat, thick warm gloves, A 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, tow rope, knife, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads. I must have  looked a right prat on the bus this morning with all that gear on. I could hardly tweet with the gloves

Behind Newmarket’s bright lights….

Newmarket's bright lights

 

Jimmy Lips’ they called him. I first met him in The Bull on Newmarket’s High Street in 1994. He’d ridden his first winner days earlier. He had a permanent smile on his face on the few occasions I met him.

A personable young lad was Jimmy. He didn’t know me, but he wanted to get the drinks in. Usually a good sign of character for one who is clearly sober. It was a Sunday afternoon; the Snowball Club was in its infancy. Jimmy didn’t play football, unlike the rest of us. His passion was music. He played an instrument, a wind instrument, hence the ‘Lips’. I was introduced to him by a pal of mine, a pal, who like most young men in this most cosmopolitan of towns – the most cosmopolitan of towns I’ve ever known – found it impossible to stride down the High Street without a nod of acknowledgment to all.

He claimed 7lbs did Jimmy Lips, riding horses was not his ambition, being in a band was; he didn’t expect to make all the running in that Wolverh ampton egg and spoon race. His ambitions didn’t include reaching the pinnacle of the jockey ranks, or having his name up in lights above a restaurant door. He was a normal lad. But not for long.

He took his own life just a few weeks later. A Newmarket statistic.

Just what is it about Newmarket that attracts young lads and lasses from all over the world to pack a bag and head for this wonderful little place? The lure of the place is hypnotically enticing for those with aspirations in the world of horse racing, whether it’s to be a jockey, a groom or for some just to be involved to build a career in the media.

I moved there in 1994, staying in a B&B in nearby Barrow. A B&B where the late Raleigh Gilbert, one of my commentating heroes, was also a guest. A quiet man, who spent hours in the study, memorising his colours and making notes. The owner of the house was a retired Army Major, Barney Griffiths, a former chief at the British Racing School, and a part-time judge at Huntingdon racecourse.

He was a stickler for discipline was Barney, even though I was a paying guest. Eating in the rooms was a no-no; his wife Anne used to slip me a plate of toast late at night in the winter, as the nearest shop in this rural village, not far from Seb Sanders, was closed. If he ever found out he’d go nuts, even though I saw Raleigh sneak sandwiches in from time to time. But then again this was Channel 4 Racing’s Raleigh Gilbert. I was a nobody.

I bought a house in Cheveley a year later off legendary jockey Doug Smith’s son Michael, who ran a photographic shop on Old Station Road. A modest terraced house sandwiched between two houses, both owned by the nearby Cheveley Park Stud. Mobile phones were not about then – at least I never had one, and certainly not one with a camera – which was a shame as Lee next door, who worked on the stud, took me around and gave me a leg up on the Grand National winner Party Politics, a bareback sit, boy it was a long way down. Another memory.

One of my earliest memories was the day I’d finished work on the Bury Road – I worked for a great friend on racing publications – and my car was busy being serviced. So I thought I’d walk the three miles out to the village. The journey took me past Stoute’s, Wragg’s and indeed Prescott’s, when the heavens unexpectedly opened heralding a biblical storm. A mile into the walk, I thrust out my thumb to some passing cars. A silver Mercedes stopped, offering me a lift, the driver looking vaguely familiar. He asked in his broken English where I was going; he didn’t really know the area, having just moved there from the Middle East, but happily took me the remaining two miles or so.

I invited him in for a drink to thank him, and he accepted. Water. He had recently had a dramatic career change from a policeman to racehorse trainer, and for a few short weeks I helped show him the area. Indeed one memory is very vivid. I arranged to show him the nearby American Air Base at Lakenheath a couple of days later. He picked me up and we had gone only half a mile, taking a short cut through the little village of Kentford, when he slammed on the brakes and got out of the car.I thought he had hit a young deer, a frequent sighting in this area, but he was fascinated by a hedgehog walking across the road. He had never seen one before and grilled me about it. I could have sworn he thought about taking a picture. Now David Attenborough I am not, but I did my best to explain what it was, and on we went, up past Mildenhall and up to see the war planes at the airbase.

On my regular trips back to Liverpool I would relate the story to groups of friends, the sceptics amongst them found this story hard to digest, and thought I had acquired a passport to la-la-land, but true it is to this day. I wonder whether Saeed Bin Suroor remembers it; I suspect so.

High Rise was always highly regarded at Bedford House. He won a little race at Pontefract under the excellent Jason Weaver, and from this point his master trainer was thinking ‘Derby horse’. A few lads rode him at home, young Justin, Ian and of course the jocks would have a sit on him now and again. Justin was an especially likeable lad and a sometime member of The Snowball Club.

The Snowball Club came about by chance. After Sunday Morning football matches and after a long week at work it was time to unwind, a lunchtime drink in ‘The Yard’, where the landlady dished out little roast potatoes to us on those cold days of winter. Then me and my best pal would stride down the High Street for a chat, usually about those ‘special’ gallops, and horses having a ‘quiet one’.

Sundays in Newmarket were a day when the stable staff were generally off, no work for the horses, unless they were running Monday and needed a stretch, so some of the lads would make an appearance at lunchtime. Some were new to the town and enjoyed the company. We would stroll around from pub to pub having a chat and a pint of lime and soda: far too early for anything else. My pal knew everybody in Newmarket and everything about Newmarket, so by the time it reached 2 or 3 o’clock there would be a few of us, some of whom would normally nip back to mine and watch the football before coming back down in one of those distinctive black and yellow taxis to meet up again, some nicely fuelled and in high spirits. The Snowball Club was born. The name? The more we rolled down the high street the more lads joined us.

On one of these afternoons, one of the lads decided to cut up all the Sunday papers into the size of £20 notes and sandwich them between two real ones in an effort to ’impress’ a few stable lasses by pulling out the wedge at the bar and getting a round in. It worked a treat for this young chap – let’s call him Mark – until the time he got the wedge caught on the corner of his jeans when pulling it out to impress with a ‘round‘, and as quick as you can say the words ‘my shout’ the floor of the Waggon & Horses was full of News of The World, Sunday People and Sunday Mirror newsprint. Mark’s Snowball Club membership was frozen for a few weeks as he mysteriously was usually ‘out of town’ when we called him on Sundays…can’t think why!

Justin, although not a staunch member of the club was still great fun, and loved Le Chat Noir, the mini night club, always known as Stanleys. He taught High Rise a lot.

Justin took his own life not long after. A Newmarket statistic.

I wasn’t lucky enough to know another lad Geoff, who worked at Cecil’s and did a bit of boxing, or indeed Scotsman Eric, who looked after Champion Hurdle winner Hors La Loi and was by all accounts a very popular lad. They both took their own life. I did know a couple of trainers who also had an early visit from the angels. One a lovely man, a good friend of my MD, and whose children went to the same school. His heartbroken family left behind following the desperate news of him taking his own life in nearby woods. Another trainer, David Cosgrove also left us. Four more.

Newmarket, a town full of some of the most wonderful, salt-of-the-earth, giving people. Yet a town of intense mystery. A town where, in certain circumstances, people who know each other well and do business cannot be seen to be ’friendly’ in public –the reasons apparent to those who understand the intricacies of Horse Racing and gambling.

In the winter, like now, it becomes a lonely place. Not a ghost town as such: one will still see the strings, albeit smaller ones, heading off to Warren Hill for a canter; the weekends remain the same, the Christmas shoppers, the revellers who set off at the top of the High Street on a libational journey past the hostelries on their right-hand side, ending up at ‘Millionaires’ (formerly The Orange House), via The Bull or The White Hart, and ending up around the Yard.

What is it about Newmarket that saddens these young lads and lasses?

Quite clearly, deep-rooted issues may be at the core; we all like to think we are medical professionals when passing opinion on such sad matters. Why do they go to places like Newmarket, Lambourn or Malton in the first place? The huge percentage call is that they have aspirations, but is it not also likely that they experience sadness at home: pressures, issues or even more serious childhood occurrences? It is a topic which highlights the importance of the Racing Welfare organisation. It is statistically (that word again) an even-money chance that a suicide in Newmarket will involve somebody who works in racing.

I bought a taxi business just after the millennium, drove one and rented another out. Some of things I saw were beyond belief. It is at this point that I started to learn about the real ‘dark side’ of the town. I picked them all up, famous jockeys, trainers, and was privy to a lot of sensitive information. I had regular customers whose trips to the off licence were, in some cases, daily:

I saw the other side of the town.It is a town that is a magnet for young jockeys, grooms and riders. They come from Ireland, Poland, Japan, every corner of the globe. This charismatic town, jam-packed with characters, like Jock, who was reportedly ‘weighed in’ to thrust a cake in the face of a certain TV celeb, or Mick the Fish, who when I met him thought he acquired his nickname because he fished about for winners and was very well-connected, but no – it was because he drank like a fish and it never seemed to affect him. Remarkably though, he knew his horses, especially the one’s that were going to ‘move’ before they did.

A lot of my friends, and indeed my family, have urged me to write about my experiences in Newmarket, and I have held off. But with the onset of winter, I feel it is important for ordinary folk like myself to try and do a little to help raise awareness on this delicate matter. I do not want to paint a grey picture of Newmarket: it is, and always be, will be a special town with special people. On the contrary, as with life, there is sweet and sour, hot and cold, happy and sad.

But to brush sensitive subjects under the rug seems wrong. Stable staff are the lifeblood of the sport, up at 4.30 am (if you work for Clive Brittain) in all weathers, on half ton of horseflesh with only skilful hands and a skullcap as protection.

Yes, fond memories are embedded, laughter, joy and excitement are all deep-seated recollections for the years ahead of us, but beneath it all is a sadness. A real sadness. Racing Welfare are a 24/7 operation catering for 518 licensed jockeys, 11,000 stable and stud staff and 600 lower-ranking trainers. Each and every one of these men and women are the backbone of

the sport we love, who face the same physical and mental stresses as higher-profile colleagues.Racing Welfare are contactable every second of every day on 0800 6300443 on a helpline, and when I rang them, they got back to me in less time it takes to runs a Cheltenham Gold Cup.

Thanks for reading

Since writing this in December there has been another one, sadly only briefly reported. Maybe because the ‘man’ was foreign but had worked for a stable up until recently.

A little inspiring story ..

In a world where negativity and black media clouds hover above us, a ray of sunshine from above. Please read this little story. I think you will love it.

I’ve been lucky enough to get to know about this story, a short true item of heartwarming interest to appeal to the young and the old, the black and the white, the hard and the soft.

It’s about a lovely old boy, a man of 81, who for 25 years looked after his wife, who in 1987 had a double anurism of the brain and required constant care. The gentleman in question, a man who day in day out always continued to look after not only his beautiful wife but himself. Fitness, diet and, crucially appearance,  were all a big part of his world. His rationale was, if he felt good, he’d be able to care for her properly. He did, a few hurdles along the way, a triple heart by pass for him in 2000, which went horribly wrong, refused to stop him. His strength saw him through it.

In April this year, the angels came for his wife after, thankfully a passing devoid of physical pain for her, but his world crashed around him. He was lucky, so many people have incredible hurt to deal with.

Lots of people reading this know about pain and suffering and many have no doubt suffered pain so immeasurably severe it leaves a scar so so difficult to repair.What happened next may, or should produce a warm glow in time for Christmas.

The man concerned, months later has conjured up some mental magic from somewhere and pulled out his best tricks.

His daughter, who lives yards away is a carer in a nearby old persons home. He had an idea. He spoke to his son and daughter in law, he spoke to his daughters about his love of music and how it may help.

In August an Organ arrived on his doorstep, it triggered ideas in his alert mind.

“I can beat this pain, I can beat this suffering”. With his families help, he started power walking, he got some new younger clothes, and, wait for it, he grew a goatee (as a distinguished grey haired man, it suits) and, through his daughter, he asked the old persons homes management, could he come round and do a few songs for the residents now and again. There the real story beginnneth.

That was a month ago. Now for his latest trick, he has planned a wartime special Christmas party. You’ll love this bit.

The head chef is producing a menu based on rations, strictly speaking, a delightully comforting 4 course bespoke special for the much loved residents. The female staff are considering dressing as wrens, pictures of Vera Lynn will adorn the lounge, Churchillian images, in fact all things (after careful thought considering the residents metal being) wartime. One lady who has dementure has been tapping away at his Sinatra tunes, a rare occurence, she normally does nothing bless her. She smiles.

The planning fills his days, he practices for hours, and has enlisted the services of a mouth organist to accompany him. He lives in a part the UK where it rains alot, and indeed when it snows it snows.

In fact he is also a snow volunteer who was on the radio just last week discussing the need to attract more helpers, obviously at 81 it’s difficult and dangerous for him these days to set foot on ice, but he’s determined to help the others in the street, he’s petrified of a child of an old person slipping over. He can’t help himself.

Now this story is not in any way meant to be self indulgent in any way, this is an old man, a loving caring man, missing his wife of 53 years, getting older and he knows he is in his final chapter, but he wants to make this chapter count, throughout his whole life he has been a giver, he’s not wealthy, in fact he lives in a little flat now, but he gives he doesn’t receive. He is an optimist, he looks for the good in people, he brushes over life’s little knockbacks. In his world a ray of sunshine always follows the rain, and with a rainbow full of rich reward for the kind people of the world.

Just before Christmas, he’ll trim his goatee, don a new shirt and v neck and order his taxi. In his arms his keyboard, a bag containing lyrics and photos. In his heart, a lifetime of memories approaching his first Christmas without his wife, but he’ll get through with the strength of that special breed.

I’m so proud of my Dad, yes it was slightly self indulgent, but sincerely meant as an inspirational tool for anyone who is suffering, anyone who missing a love one, anyone who is feeling the weight of life’s cruel twists. Take from it, I do, my sisters do, his neighbours do, the staff in the home do. He does. In the winter, the grey clouds appear, the frost appears, it is a very diffiult emotional time for alot of people, a lot of lonely people, he’s one of them, but he fights it, he fights it because he is a giver.

If this little story helps one elderly man or lady, then it’s been worth the hour it took to type it, what’s an hour for us lucky ones. It takes seconds to cut and paste it and you never know, inspire somebody.

Thank You so very much for reading

John x